Insomnia Jello No. 1 - Apple Orchard Dessert

I'm on a new pill and it is giving me ridiculous insomnia. This is a pill that my body can take up to 3 (three!!!) months to get used to, and I'm only about 4 weeks in.

I won't be quitting it any time soon, so I'm dealing with the sleeplessness in my own way.

The other night I decided that I would be trying my hand at some Jello desserts.

When I was a child, for family affairs my mother would make a seven-layer jello salad, and it was absolutely delectable to me.

I have attempted to make this same salad at least twice in the last 20 years and I say 'at least' because it could be that I've actually tried my hand at the delicate pouring and layering more than just twice and have failed, miserably, each and every time.

Then there was Thanksgiving, 2003. I found a big green metal Wilton cake pan in the shape of a Christmas tree in the pantry, and I got a wild and wiggly hair to make a huge Jello mold. It had bing cherries and sour cream, but I mixed the mess by hand and the cream cheese was chunky - and it looked like raw fucking meat.

I actually have a photo of this culinary abortion.

My mom told me it was delicious and it really was, but nobody would eat it.

I have tried other various Jello recipes - jewel salad appeals to me on such a visual level and I've mutilated it in a way only I can.

That out of the way, and back to my insomnia, I have challenged myself to some sort of short-term self-improvement exercise. In gelatin.

I am starting with just a handful of recipes, and I've already gone to the store on my own and spent $28 on Jello and things to go in Jello. The old man behind me in line saw that I had a cart full of Jello and a smattering of other items and he judged me. He pushed my cart forward and for a fleeting second I thought, "How sweet, this man is pushing my cart for me," and then I realized that he just wanted me to get away from him.

Tonight's winner: Apple Orchard Dessert.

The people at Kraft nailed it. I can do this.

I boil a cup and a half of water. Add Jello.

Stir until dissolved. Easy.

Add 2 cups of cold apple juice. Mmm... apple juice...

Hee hee it looks like pee now.

Refrigerate for an hour and a half. Check to see if it's ready by dragging a spoon through it.

It left a mark I'M DOING IT!!!

Cut the apple while waiting for gel-ing to happen. Did not eat the apple and abandon Jello like my sneaky brain suggested. I thought one apple would not be enough and trust me, it was.

Directions state now to add the apple and dump the whole mix into a 2 qt. container. I don't have a pretty clear bowl so I left it in my white one.

I'm mixing apple chunks into semi-solid Jello and the Jello just wants to be with Jello and the apples are bouncing off the jello and refusing to get coated. And it's not flat with a subtle ripple like in the other picture! I'm hoping it flattens out but I'm not going to hold my hand anywhere uncomfortable, because my anti-Midas Jello touch strikes again.

You BETTER BE delicious.

Recipe source.